It's been three weeks since kiddo #2 arrived. And I have survived my first week home by myself with both of them. Slowly what was "normal" before Adalyn was here has started to shift to our new "normal". Slowly we are making progress with Shane's behavior which makes each day go more smoothly and makes for a happier family in general.
I knew things would change and I knew things would be different and I even knew things would be hard at times. But there were two items that surprised me by how hard they actually were.
The first week that Adalyn was home with us, I missed Shane so much. Even though he was right here in the house. All I wanted to do was cuddle with him, hug him, play with him and help him when he needed something. But my arms were literally full of Adalyn making it impossible for me to attend to Shane. It was hard to let go of what I had known to be my "job" up until that point and let someone else do it. It's still hard to know that I have to lean on Kenny or others to help with dinner, laundry, etc. Eventually that will change, but right now I'm learning the art of accepting and asking for help.
The other thing I found so surprisingly hard was losing my "free time". With just one kid, I had a nice cushion of free time to myself: nap time, preschool,and evening time. Where I was able to craft, watch TV, read or just do nothing. Not any more. If I do manage to have some time it is full of all the things I need to get done like take a shower, eat, sleep and clean up. This too shall change. I know the years will fly by and soon enough Shane will be in school and Adalyn won't be far behind him.
I'm doing my best to enjoy each moment right now. I'm trying to not look into the future too far ahead or wish for the time Adalyn is sitting up or walking, or Shane is in Kindergarten. I want to enjoy this moment right now and appreciate it, because I won't ever have it again.