Tuesday, September 6, 2011


I am frustrated that no matter how much I try to be organize, have lists, keep things clean/picked up and be prepared, it is just never enough. There is always something forgotten, something that needs cleaning or something that needs to be done.

I am frustrated that my going on 10 month old Daughter still is not even close to sleeping through the night. All the sleeping books in the world, all the attempts and tries to get her to sleep haven't gotten her to sleep through the night.

I am frustrated that I can't seem to find a balance between playing and spending time with Shane and Adalyn and getting that gigantic to do list completed. I don't want to look back and think why didn't I just play? But seriously I can't play all day long (though Shane would LOVE that). Does that mean I play with Shane while Addie naps or actually attempt to get something done? Every day I am struck by this question, but I continue to not have an answer.

I am frustrated that we haven't really been able to take advantage of the nice weather we have finally been having. Adalyn and the beach is a NO go. Having a crawler during the summer months is hard.

I am frustrated that my "smart" HE top loading washing machine can't wash my cloth diapers properly. I am so tried of stinky diapers, but I can't seem to do anything about it.


Julie said...

I don't think you have to play all day with the kids. In fact, I think you shouldn't do that. Harder with Addie but Shane definitely can amuse himself while you do what needs to be done around the house. If not, I'd work on that with him. I'd work towards more outings to keep your sanity. Yeah, beach may not be a great idea but a little picnic in the park with a blanket down, baby swings at the playground etc on those nice days can kill some of that time at home.

I'm not a cloth diaperer but when I have anything that has laundry odor (like dark towels) I use Borax. Might want to look into it.

As for the sleeping, no answers on that that you'd like :) But you have my sympathy.

Cynthia said...

you are doing a GREAT job...you need to let your type A relax a little.....your kids are growing under your loving care...smile relax enjoy where your are..life goes by SO fast before you know it your kids will be off to college.

Katie said...

Sorry you are having so many frustrations. I am having my share of those right now as well. You are doing the best you can I'm sure but it sounds to me like you are putting WAY too much pressure on yourself. Don't be so hard on yourself, you are doing a great job and you need to give yourself credit for happy, healthy kids.

I can suggest that you talk to Jessica M about the CDing. They have (I think) a HE washer and she may have some tips for you. We use Charlie's soap for all our laundry and it works pretty well. I've never had to do a major stripping or anything....sometimes I get a case of the stinks but getting them in the sun seems to take care of it. We are fortunate here to have loads of sunshine, I know it can be hit or miss for you up there :)
As far as getting your "list" done.....are they things that REALLY need done? We as Moms have to pick our battles. There will be days when you really NEED to get things done and on those days Shane needs to entertain himself. It's a skill he needs to learn anyway :) It will help make those times you do just sit and play that much more special and significant for them. Other days, take the time to enjoy life as a family...go on a picnic or what have you.

We also have to remember that just because we stay home all day doesn't mean everything is going to be spic and span clean, organized, prepared or done. Those ladies in the 50's who "had it all together" were all drunks or on drugs they just didn't talk about it :) There is no such thing as Super Mom. She doesn't exist. Love your kids, find happiness in everyday moments and everything else falls in line.

As far as Addy's sleeping...the best thing we ever did was just let go. With Ethan I was so concerned about getting him on a schedule and where he "should" be, how much sleep he "should" be getting I wasn't taking time to take cues from him. We are doing that with Cora. It isn't without it's challenges and I find myself thinking often, "Shouldn't she be...." but then I remind myself that SHE is in the driver's seat. No Doctor, no "Expert", no other Mom can tell her what to do when and neither can I. Babies don't know about clocks, time, schedules. They only know what they need and we have to guess what that is. :)

We are having troubles here with naps during the day as well but I'm taking it one day, and one nap at a time. If it doesn't work, I know it's time to change gears and try again in a bit. Some days she doesn't nap more than 1 hour all day. Those days aren't fun but we get through them. (Not with out me freaking out once or twice usually either because I know she needs to sleep and she is SOOO tired but no amount of her screaming in her crib, rocking, nursing, sushing is going to get her there.)

Mama guilt (I'm told) will be ever present in our lives now. I feel I don't give Ethan the time I used to either. We don't do nearly as many crafts or fun activities alone together. Makes me sad. BUT he is in soccer now, flag football, plays more with his friends and is in school 5 days a week, two of those are full days. I may not be giving him the individual attention anymore but I am no longer the center of his world. That is sort of sad but also a huge load taken off me to know that he is learning how to be with others, and experiencing new things.

He loved our Summer to Do List. I don't see why (and now that I think about it we will do this) we can't make a September To Do List or Fall To Do List. Where we sit down and brainstorm more ideas of fun things to do as a family or with just Ethan.

I hope that soon you will give yourself a little slack. You are a great Mom and are doing a great job. Just look at all those pictures you take. Are the kids in those photos mad? Sad? No!

I hope some of this helps. Call if you'd ever like to chat.